I created the One Writer’s Progress website, back in 2014. This is when it all began. Well, maybe, it all began in 2009 when I returned to education to follow an old life-long-dream.
It may have all began when I was a little girl, A Girl from Hull. I was about nine or ten; the decade is now talked of as the eighties. If you’re reading this in one hundred years time, that was the 1980s, and I wanted to be an Author.
Before we become the author, we have to be the writer. In the 1980s I wanted to be a writer, but I was just a girl, and who on earth earns money as a Writer anyway? Thirty-ish or so years later, it was 2009 that I downed tools as a Professional Administrator and Office Manager. I had become a parent, and wanted to readdress lost opportunities. I thoroughly enjoyed the career as a professional, safeguarding, risk assessing, processing, organising and managing, but something had always been missing. I had loved English back at school, however, my grammar was and still is so Culturally-Hullish.
I am learning! If I was as capable in publishing stories as well as I am in talking myself out of an opportunity, I will be a bestselling Author.
2009 was the year that gave me a chance to follow a childish dream of mine, as a past-colleague named Alan described back in Brunswick House, Teaching was my vocation!
I returned to Education as a mature student, whilst parenting and somehow, with my Hullish grammar and words and exhaustion with two-teeny-children, I accomplished a Bachelors in the Art of English Literature with Creative Writing, and my path took me into realms of Renaissance with Modern Languages. This is where I fell in love again, with stories, the poetic form and words in general. I began to attempt to write Epic Poetry.
A passion for historical literature was stirred, Spenser, Shakespeare, Duranti & Darrieussecq, Rossetti, Meyer and Fry and more became my guides within a world of words. I hung onto the word academia like a female possessed. I wanted to know where to look? What to read? How could I help the cause?
However, I had no idea what cause within English Literature I was truly helping.
Many of us (girls) jump up and down asking to be equal to men. However, I didn’t want to be equal, in body, nor mind. If I might use Fung Shui guidance as an example: I see men as the ying and the women as the yang, or maybe it is the other way around? Whichever suits, we all have one another’s traits, and can adapt to suit.
I wanted to find balance. No more should the female have to be drawn to writing romances, no more should the female be destined to write about her domestic endeavours.
Modern Women Writers alike Duranti and Darrieussecq may feel the same way, but I don’t know and I don’t wish to put words into their mouths, their books speak for themselves. Read them!
When I achieved a Masters I was blown away, literally breathless. How was it possible for this no mark, A Girl from Hull, able to achieve something so prestigious? True grit and determination was the key and maybe a way with words, always of a cliché, but I put that down to becoming a mother back in 2005, and in being just A Girl from Hull. Maybe the 1980s generated a new way in using language. I often feel like I am of the generation influx marketing, when every word claims to sell something without even realising it. This is when it all clicked into place. Shakespeare wrote about domestic affairs too. E. Spenser wrote fantasy fiction. Just as I had begun to learn something very important:
2014, flung out on my ear by the University which is quite a story in itself: Off you go! Find something to do with it, that qualification of yours.
What was my vocation again?
I am able to laugh at myself today, and that is healthy, the University hadn’t thrown me out, it was just how I felt. I absolutely fundamentally didn’t know what to do, because I had been told by one lecturer that my poetry was nothing new, my dreams began to crumble, and I believed what one man said. Sadly, with an education, a family and three decades under my belt, emotionally I wasn’t resilient, I remained filled with self-doubt even when two other lecturer said my enthusiasm and efforts were very unique. I saw unique as weird. I had been conditioned to believe people should all be the same. I felt deep down, “how can I teach others, when I have not learned enough for myself?” I had to keep reminding myself, I wanted to be an Author, and remember the childhood dream. Of course being a Teacher would be an exciting opportunity too, yet, there is an innate desire to remember back to when I was ten, and eighteen and twenty-eight, and remove what got in the way?
This is where I halted my own chasing of a destination, I started to think, what if?
These last three years of trial and error, learning and self-executing as a Professional Writer, writing stories and poetry has been a raging sea of torment, and often I wanted to call it a day, it hasn’t quite earned me a living. It certainly gave me lots to do, I have had to read lots, write and re-write. Life, certainly wanted to get in the way. I tried a pen name and felt like a fraud. I tried to join writing groups, but most of the groups participants didn’t want to be an Author as a destination, they just wanted to write and see where it took them.
I didn’t give up:
I needed a structure, I found 4DX (a book) and the Start up of You (another book).
I needed a purpose, I found Psychologies (a magazine), or maybe they found me? They’ve made me a part of their Life Labs, and I am an Ambassador in 2018. Since embarking on this new adventure I have been learning lots of new methods of practice, discovering a whole new meaning to finding a sense of self, and most importantly the power of self-belief.
I needed a vision: A Professional Writer and Poet. I am already an author, after self-producing an eBook or four 2016 -2018.
I don’t want to sell myself out as a Writer, I just want to write for entertainment, and a muse alike Shakespeare and Sidney, Spenser and Marlowe of old. Alike the Rowling, Meyer, Darrieussecq and Duranti of the Modern day. Hopefully, I can share my life-time as a Writer & Poet with others who maybe just maybe, want to write for themselves. If I can encourage myself, maybe I can encourage others? I can only share the knowledge and experiences of my own writing progress to date, because that is what we are supposed to do with knowledge isn’t it? Pass it on.
Creative Writing for me has become a form of meditation, in my experience it slows the pulse rate and allows me to be still, to focus upon the present and become lost within the realm of words.
So why am I calling this One Writer’s Progress, Vérdâlibré? and what exactly is
A (f)ilosophy for Creative Writing all about? Click here to learn more. . .